all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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