everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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