My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
