And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
