Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
