why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
