I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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