Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
