Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
if only i could text you this smell
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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