I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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