Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
