is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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