So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
