Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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