Do you still have your period?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
