It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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