do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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