Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
