I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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