so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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