so explain again why im purple
no
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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