So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
