did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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