i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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