Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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