i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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