you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
