We got so high we made milksteak
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
