And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
