Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
