I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
