I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
