you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
