So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
