You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
