Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
