i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She announced her abortion via fbk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
