I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
