I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
