operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This is my gift to your gina
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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