if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
