Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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