Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
