Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
