who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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