idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
