i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Holy shit dude........stairs
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
