I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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