in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
