i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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