i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
