Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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