I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
