i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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