i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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