Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
