im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
