Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
