blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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