Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
