Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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