Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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